Water Pitcher Hale Fail

Don't take a glass pitcher out of the fridge and rinse it under steaming hot water. It will crack. And you will need to get a new one because you just realized it's perfect for sangria and you need a great glass pitcher.

Why I did it this way, and didn't think to let the pitcher warm up, or run cool water instead of burn-my-hand-off water is anyone's guess. Hale Fail. Cost: $35 + shipping.

Who Needs Running Water Anyway?

We have a kitchen! It's pretty and clean and new. We have shiny black granite counter tops and white cabinets. We have a new floor and fancy drawers made especially for utensils and others that roll out. On June 14th the demolition began and our kitchen sink, stove and microwave were gone. The water was turned off. After weeks of washing bottles in the bathroom and eating take-out food, we are finally in! All boxes are unpacked and I am seeing my beautiful white plates that I haven't seen since my bridal shower in 2010! We can finally cook our own food! We have set up the high chair for Boo-Boos and have started feeding him real food (that is to be discussed in another post because HOLY MESS)! Sorry for all the exclamation points, but its just so exciting!! I love our new home! What a cozy place for our new little family.

I'd like to take a minute to say THANK YOU to Nashoba Bakery for yummy coffee and literally the best scones EVER and to Dino's for providing us affordable, local, and varied meals for lunch and dinner. And for not laughing at us when we ordered from you twice a day.

Hale Fail

For those of you who know my husband, you know that THINGS happen to him. I wouldn't consider any of them to be tragic or serious, but they are irritating and consistent. You may recall the splinter story, or heard the dirt muffin story (or if not, you should... seriously... dirt in his muffin...like, baked in... several times, with years in between incidents). Now after 4 years together, these things have transfered to me. Things are happening to me that would never happen before I met SHM. They happen when I am with him and when I am alone. So, here are some terms we have coined, named after SHM, who has dealt these THINGS on a daily basis, his whole life.

Hale Fail: noun: Something that happens to you that is incredibly minor and uneventful, but irritating. A Hale Fail will happen with such frequency, that despite how small it is, its effect on you will compound and become so annoying that after several have occurred, you will have a grossly inappropriate reaction causing you to look overly sensitive or angry. You aren't, but there's only so much one can take.
Super Hale Fail: noun: When the Hale Fail that causes the inappropriate reaction happens in public and you have to hold in your scream/yell/curse.

Here are some events that have happened to me in the past 6 months; examples of a Hale Fail:

1) Dropping your car keys 4 consecutive times while holding a baby, a diaper bag and a dog leash (and each time your dog is startled and lunges away from you, pulling you and baby and bag with her).
2) Hitting yourself in the same spot on your shin with a car seat or stroller so that you have a permament bruise (Super Hale Fail: When it happens at The Club's Father's Day BBQ).
2a)SHM would add: Biting the inside of your cheek, and then it is sore and swells, causing several more bites, each more painful than the previous bite.
3) While eating steak shish-kabob and pulling off a bit of steak, the skewer somehow bounces back and you stab yourself in the thumb, drawing blood.
4) You are watching the Australian Open Championship match, Nadal v. Djokovich, 6 hours in, it is a historically long match. You have stopped and started this match along the way so you are no longer watching it live. You are watching what is to be the final set, when the emergency test signal comes on, negating your recording. When it comes back to the match, it's over.

If you wonder if you are having a Hale Fail ask yourself one of the following questions:
a)Have you dropped the same item more than twice within 2 minutes (particularly if you are in a rush)?
b)Have you injured yourself in the spot more than once?
c)Have you forgotten or failed to realize something super DUPER obvious, often with financial consequences?
d)Do you exercise extreme caution, to the point of awkwardness,to protect your extremities because of past Hale Fails (ex: stepping two feet above a low rope to avoid tripping)?
e)Have you done absolutely nothing wrong at all, and yet people fail to have your appointment correct, or name in their system?

If you have answered "yes" to any of these, you have experienced a Hale Fail.

5am anyone?... Anyone?

Boo-Boos woke up at 5:07 this morning...and I actually feel good. This may be because SHM and I went to bed at 9:30pm (we are no longer able to keep pre-baby hours no matter how we try, we can't even watch shows that start at 9, we won't finish them, thank god for DVR). Or maybe its because Boos slept straight through from 7pm- 5am. AHHHHH uninterrupted sleep is a dream! About a month ago we were living large with an 8-6 schedule and feeling quite smug. However, we made some tweaks to create a nighttime routine and things started to go awry... Maybe it was our tweaks, maybe it was the infamous "sleep regression" that I have read so much about, but whatever the cause, the first night he woke up at 8:15, 10:30, 1:30 and 6:00am. A week into it he was still waking up two to three times a night... Until last night- Hurrah! A full sleep through!

So it is now 6:00am, we are watching the US Open (recorded from last night), and drinking coffee and eating a breakfast assortment from 7-11 because even though the website says that Dunkins is open at 5:00am, the two locations within a mile of us are not. Oh, and why not make our own breakfast at this fantastic hour? Because construction has FINALLY begun on our new kitchen (super exciting), and we have no working stove or sink and trying to do anything related to food in our bathroom sink is just not quite right.

Always Replenish the Diaper Bag

Boos and I ran a few errands the other day.

Sidebar: Right after I established Monkers as Baby’s official blog name, we promptly stopped calling him that. He is now Boos. Short for Boo-Boos.

We drove here and there and ended up at the Mall. This is my favorite mall since it added a new fancy section with trees, classical music and fountains (or the sound of running water? Now that I think of it, I’ve never actually seen a fountain. Maybe I am just imagining the water sound because it’s so serene, huh. Anywaaayy). I have recently found that not only do they have large beautiful restrooms, but there are PRIVATE nursing rooms. PRIVATE. With a comfy chair, your own sink and changing area. And it’s oh-so-clean (I mean, as far as mall bathrooms go).
So I like this mall and Boos and I are having a great outing. He’s being perfect and calm and entertaining himself with his bug toy so I am able to return my things without incident and (bonus) have lunch. On my way out, I think that I better check his diaper, lest I suffer through 30 minutes of crying on the way home. Plus, it’s excuse for me to use the amahhzing nursing rooms. So we head in, get set up, and holy crap- literally. I find a poop explosion that has come up his back, through his clothes (2 layers) and leaked out to the car seat. CRAP (literally). I quickly grab my diaper bag- ONE diaper- phew, that was a close one. Then I grab the wipes- TWO wipes- err- that’s not going to cut it. I quickly scan around, find anti-bacterial gel in my bag and grab some paper towels to create homemade wipes. Poopy clothes have been tossed into the sink to be soaked (not so easy when the faucet is automatic and on a timer). I save the two wipes for that cute little bum and YES, I do still have a spare outfit so I do not have leave the mall with a naked baby. Lesson of the Day: Always check supply levels BEFORE leaving the house.

Meanwhile, Boos considers this to be the funniest moment of his life. I have a picture of it all but I'll spare you. This one was taken at lunch, before everything went to... poop.

Breathing into the Wind

I often forget that babies are new. New to life and so new to everything in life. Since Baby is a winter baby, he is on the lower end of the bell curve when it comes to experiencing things outside. His environment has stayed pretty stable, pretty consistent and always comfortable (lucky Baby). There have been a few jaunts into the great outdoors thanks to our mild winter (and global warming? err). But until recently, these jaunts have immediately put Baby to sleep, or have been calm days with no wind.
Then recently, SHM and I took Baby out on a beautiful and windy day. We ran several errands in town and then decided just spend time outside with Baby in the carriage. The sun was shining! The wind was blowing! And we look over and Baby is turning his head about, taking in weird gulps of air- what on earth? Then we realized that this was the same thing he did when we blew in his face, and then two and two came together- he didn't know how to breathe in the wind! EEEE! So cute!! It only took him a couple of seconds to figure it out, but those seconds were priceless and a reminder to us that even though WE feel quite aged and tired and like we've been doing this baby thing forever, HE is only 11 weeks old and every experience is brand new.

Also, from here on out, Baby is now being referred to as Monkers, short for Chunky Monkers, which, when said by SHM makes Baby smile the widest.

Stuffy Baby was Really Stuffy

In fact, stuffy Baby had a mild case of a fairly severe respiratory virus, RSV. What began as a small check-up with the pediatrician turned into a 2 night stay at the illustrious Emerson Hospital. Luckily it was just for observation, some saline nebulizing and some extended time in an oxygen tent. Baby was a trooper, wooing the nurses as he recovered. At the end of it, his lungs were clear, there was oxygen in his veins and he had slept longer at night then ever at home. He still has an old man cough in the morning, but otherwise, we are happy campers again.